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COMMON GROUND - 08/06/2008
(by Anita Yarossi - OpEd Columnist - August 06, 2008)
The covenant of communication
Call me a dinosaur but I can’t seem to adapt to the new language that is developing out of e-mail and cell phone text. It might be in part that I was brought up as the daughter of a high school English teacher and that I was a creative writing minor in college. I even enjoy writing poetry, which also is derived from my love of words.
But more importantly, conversation – the give and take of human discourse – is a both an art form and a compact that involves courtesy, expectations and concentration. Whether written or vocal, I engage in this singularly human event, because I wish to share my thoughts or to listen to yours. For example, a friend of mine is going in for surgery shortly and I have asked that her husband call me to tell me how she is after the procedure. She asked me if I wanted a text message and I flatly said no. I simply want to speak to the person who is close to her to tell me how she did, how she is feeling, what they found, and when I can see her. I want a voice to reassure me that she is OK and I want him to hear my understanding and concern.
A few months ago I was providing voter registration at the public library. I handed an application to a recent high school graduate to fill out. When I reviewed it to make sure that it was completed correctly, I was surprised to find that she had not capitalized her name, her street name, her state or any other information on the form and most of it was abbreviated. it ws al lwr cse Even her signature! I let it pass thinking that if I chided her she wouldn’t bother to register at all. I began to wonder what if she had a child someday – how would she teach the child to communicate? Would it be in real words or in abbreviated bits and pieces of the English language? Would she name her daughter lisa or julie or maybe just bby grl?
I believe communication is a covenant between people and as such has a lot of unwritten rules. When you have let someone know you are expecting some information from them by calling them and leaving a message or even e-mailing them, you should expect a reply. Even if they haven’t gotten the information you asked for, they can simply get back to you and tell you they are looking into it. That is courtesy. If they have the information and they don’t want to share it with you, then they should be honest and tell you that. That is respect. If they ignore you completely, there are many ways that you can become persistently annoying. You can be vociferous, obstreperous, clamorous, and repeatedly indignant or simply make it well known to others that they have been uncooperative. That is the power and the beauty of the language that I speak and write.
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