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DEAN'S LIST - 5/11/2008
(by Dean Naddeo - OpEd Columnist - May 11, 2008)
First labor, then a labor of love
After years of exposure to the stand-up jokes and sitcom parodies, it’s difficult to shake the stereotypical image of the stay-at-home mom perpetually inhaling bon-bons bons and scrutinizing Oprah, while dad breaks his back on the job. But the truth is, this job (yes job) is among the most difficult, demanding and under-appreciated occupations that a woman can tackle.
The career of the stay-at-home mom usually begins with about nine months of boot camp that literally involves carrying around a delicate human life in her body and eating, drinking and not sleeping on his or her behalf. This is followed by the excruciating pains associated with labor and delivery, or a surgical C-section that basically involves the removal and replacement of a woman’s internal organs.
Then the real work begins: Although dad helps out, the new mom is primarily responsible for the midnight feedings, endless diaper changes, and the inconsolable screaming that seems to carry on uninterrupted for hours at a time.
Some mothers soon chose to return to work, but many moms unselfishly place their previous lives on hold to take on the job of personally raising their kids – a noble decision replete with many sacrifices and challenges.
First of all, many stay-at-home moms selflessly jettisoned their hard-earned, lucrative careers to take on this humble, non-paying role. Their positions may have provided them with other intangibles, such as empowerment, a sense of pride or an elevated social status. With the aforementioned “Peg Bundy” stereotypes still looming large, the modest title of “stay-at-home mom” doesn’t always carry the same weight in our society.
Secondly, the job of the stay-at-home mom never ends. Regardless of the number of kids, or the ages of the children she has to care for, this is a 24/7 commitment. While working moms and dads get a 40-hour break from the madness that is parenthood, stay-at-homes are indefinitely on the job.
This usually entails years of sleepless nights, endless colds and coughs to suppress, and the providing of entertainment all day, every day – all this while somehow managing to do the shopping, clean the house, bathe and dress the kids, and get them off to school, baseball practice or whatever extra-curricular activity it is that week.
Unfortunately, stay-at-home moms don’t get any sick time, personal days or any other kind of day off, and they can’t lie down on the job either. Whereas many of us can find some time in our work dayworkday to do some Internet surfing or to engage in less-than-full-throttle employment, such is not the case for the stay-at-home mother. She has to be virtually perfect all the time, because she is forever responsible for her children’s safety and well being.
Finally, with the responsibility of raising the children falling squarely on her shoulders, the stay-at-home mom needs to be a full-time teacher as well. This means that she must watch every word she uses, always be a perfect example in her actions, and somehow have an answer to every off the wall yet brilliant question that is posed to her.
Despite the inherent sacrifices and the difficult work involved, the stay-at-home mom will someday be able to reflect on her accomplishments with a sense of pride and joy that only she can, and the quality time spent raising her children will certainly prove to be invaluable in their lives.
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