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PHALON'S FILE - 11/26/2008
(by Joe Phalon - OpEd Columnist - November 26, 2008)
Better cookies through chemistry
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the day we are thankful for the bountiful harvest of the summer. The day when the turkey sticks his head out of the hole and if he sees his shadow, it’s probably the last thing he will see.
Thanksgiving marked the beginning of the processed food industry in what would soon be this great country of ours. The early settlers learned how to dry fruits and vegetables so as to preserve them for the long winters that would challenge their new lives.
One thing the Pilgrims did, aided by their newly found Native American friends, was to lay the groundwork for Spam – food that will last a winter…or a lifetime.
I got choked up this past summer when I realized the gifts we have been given by our forefathers. Last May, I went into a local supermarket to buy some birthday cupcakes – really nothing more than a vessel of lard and sugar for the candles.
I spotted a cookie decorated like a baseball with the logo of the Mets emblazoned across the middle. I picked it up, considering it one of those guilty pleasures. So what if it felt like a hockey puck in shrink wrap. The icing-to-dough ration favored the icing. But hey, no trans fats!
For some strange reason, I assumed it was “baked” or whatever they do right at the store. Then Rose looked at the label to see just how much dietary contraband I’d brought home.
OK, so it has 220 calories. Hey, it’s a cookie! Carbs weren’t too bad and no cholesterol, which was sounding better for me. Fat weighed in at 8 grams. Not so good, but it’s not a cheeseburger. The cookie even had iron and the official Major League Baseball Hologram Seal of Intellectual Property Approval.
But then we noticed something else. “Product of China.” China? A cookie from China? How can that be? Even most fortune cookies from the Chinese restaurants are made here in the good ole USA. This is mostly because baked goods really don’t travel well beyond a few miles. How long does it take to ship a cookie from China to my house?
I read the ingredients and saw nothing weird, although I was a little uncomfortable with the term “titanium” in regard to the coloring. Sounds good for an artificial hip, but not so much in a baked good. But then at the corner of the label, to the left of the bar code, were the words, “Best if used by: 12-15-09.”
This alleged cookie had 18 months of shelf life ahead of it. And I had no idea how long it had already been on the store shelf. How is that possible? I went back and read the ingredients again. Like before, there was nothing I hadn’t seen – flour, shortening, sugar, as well as natural and artificial flavors. In fact, the ingredients took up just four lines. Compare that to your favorite soft drink.
Either they are holding out on us, or they learned from the Pilgrims. Tomorrow I will give thanks for cookies that will last long enough for a manned trip to Mars.
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