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BITS AND PIECES - 10/12/2008
(by Howard Ball - OpEd Columnist - October 15, 2008)
Lighting the way out of the abyss
Some of my very best friends are constantly reminding me to keep my memory green. That is a reminder of what life was like for me 21 years ago before I reached out for sobriety.
I'm not going to preach at you like some latter day do-gooder. I just like to celebrate the anniversary of my last drink by sharing some experiences with you, hoping someone may benefit from what they read.
There are many people I would like to thank for their help over these years. Some of them must remain anonymous, but I can certainly thank my family for their understanding in this ongoing recovery process.
I was what people like to call a social drinker. In reality it was about as social as a cat fight. From a very young age, I was addicted to the powerful drug alcohol. I began abusing alcohol in my college years and went on until I was 50. At the end I promised myself daily that I would not drink on that day – but it never happened.
Alcohol is a truly powerful drug, which can take over your very being. Every day I had the craving and thought I could take just one drink. That never happened. I always took many drinks and many times ended in an alcoholic blackout. I simply did not remember where I had been the night before or what had happened. I often discovered what transpired when I met whoever I had been with the night before, and it was often very embarrassing.
I also paid the price of morning hangovers of gigantic proportions. The folks in the newsroom knew better than to try to talk with me before noon and I made frequent visits to the bathroom to perform what my friends have named "calling Ralph." I was just plain sick!
It seemed that the focus of my life was the bottle. I prided myself that I did not neglect my children. I usually put them to bed and then went to the bar until closing. Recently my daughter Stephanie and I were talking about those days and she shared with me that she had always wondered why it took six hours to get a pack of cigarettes (My excuse when I left the house at 9:30 p.m.).
I had my last drink on Oct. 2, 1979 just before midnight. The next morning I had a spiritual experience and turned my life over to God. From there he directed me to some very special rooms where I found I was not the only one with the problem. I slowly began a one-day-at-a-time recovery, which is still going on today.
Somebody told me to not drink and go to meetings. I still do both.
God impressed on me that I should share my experience and the hope of recovery with you, and I have done so.
If you think you have a drinking problem – you probably do. If your life seems out of control, there's a problem. I can tell you there is no situation in the world that booze cannot make worse. Your family has a drinking problem and it is you. No matter how hopeless it may seem, loving caring people are waiting to show you the way out of the abyss.
Pick up the phone and use one of the numbers under alcohol. Try it today. One day at a time you will get your life back.
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